At Kate Kelly's Sunstone Fireside

I went to Kate Kelly's Sunstone fireside to satisfy my curiosity, to see if I could learn more about what's really motivating Kate Kelly and the Ordain Women movement, what their ultimate goal is. (Everything that follows is paraphrased; if my memory is inaccurate, they videotaped it, and I'm sure it'll be online somewhere.)

It was held in a Community of Christ chapel (formerly known as RLDS church). The opening prayer mentioned blessing those souls who were wounded or weary, those who'd had issues with the church for a long time or those where they were new.

Kate Kelly talked about how she wanted to launch Ordain Woman on the anniversary of the organization of the Relief Society. She had to beg and plead to get the first 20 profiles up for the launch. No one wanted their face on the website if it was only 5 people. She said she called in old contacts, trying to think of everyone she knew who was brave.

She's proud of the fact there are now about 400 profiles on Ordain Woman and less than 5 asked for their profiles to be removed after Kelly was excommunicated. She spoke of the "courageous risk" OW took in participating in an interfaith fast for gender equality in all faith traditions.

She said "every week" she felt "excluded and marginalized" at church and wanted to give women a voice. In reference to OW trying to get into the October 2013 Priesthood session, the church doesn't know how to respond to women who don't just say "yes." She called the October line-up very brave and views it as a big moment for Mormon women. She resented the church having women be the ones to tell OW they couldn't attend the Priesthood session. "Turned away by a woman who could not attend herself."

She spoke more about the mission of OW and brought up the Six Discussions they're writing up. "Unlike the missionary discussions, you can actually discuss them." (Derisive laughter from crowd.) I gather her mission was a lot more stringent about the LDS discussions. On my mission, they very much promoted discussion.

She said the beginning of the conversation sparked by OW was gloomy, but now the conversation is being had in every ward or stake in the world. They sparked a response from the First Presidency and Quorum of Twelve. She pointed out that their statement just pointed out the present but did not rule out women being ordained in the future. She mentioned Ally Isom has been in "the position of defending the Patriarchy." First Presidency and Patriarchy seemed to be interchangeable.

She spoke about the scripture "ask, and ye shall receive." Well, she's asking for the Priesthood. She also mentioned the hymn "do what is right, let the consequence follow" and there's no doubt in her mind she's doing the right thing. She said it's hard to be seen as "intransient."

She said she now has no doubt women will eventually be ordained. "We have become speakers of the truth and we have found our voice."

At that point she opened it up to questions.

One drew a comparsion between sexism at work and sexism at church.
Kelly rattled off a bunch of stats on how women in Utah are worse off than in most states.
"Parity won't come until all faith traditions change."

One mentioned she was here to learn, said that John Dehlin had lead her to Kelly. She was one who stood in line to attend the Priesthood session but was glad they weren't let in because she actually had to leave for work. Ally Isom came up again and they criticized her tone, or maybe Isom had said "tone." Either way, I gathered most of the attendees have a low opinion of Isom. She said anyone who brings up a tone argument needs to rethink everything about their life. Mentioned that women are "bossy" while men are "assertive."

Kelly said OW is not just her. She asked those in attendence to stand if they had profiles on OW. Somewhere around 12-15 people stood up. (About 100 total were in attendence.)

She referenced the scriptures, saying we should "weary the Lord with our petitions," that we should ask 70 times 7.

She brought up Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. She said the three of them asked to be saved from the fire, but they said if not, we will continue serving the Lord. She compared OW to them, saying we are asking, and if the answer is no, we will continue. She said even if women get the Priesthood tomorrow, OW still has plenty of work to do pushing for gender equality in the church, racial equality, LGBT equality. Mentioned only 2 of the General Authorities are black. Said there's a lot of work to do "integrating women in the church."

She said the Church is trying to control the information and they are struggling with the internet, how any information is available.

She said her stake president told her that she was the only woman in his stake that had a problem with gender equality in the church. After she publicized that remark, about ten women asked for interviews with the stake president. She said Mormon activists are going to be like Whack-A-Mole: you can't excommunicate them fast enough because more will spring up in their place. Said they can't excommunicate hundreds of us, thousands of us. "Well, I guess they could."

Someone asked about what you say to those women who don't want the Priesthood, don't agree with what she's doing. She said to point out to them that they are part of an institute that value us as less. She said to have compassion, have patience. Offer to go through OW's discussions with them. She said to state very clearly that women are not equal in the church.

She compared OW to the "Let Women Pray" movement or "Wears Pants to Church Day." Someone pointed out that the woman behind WPTCD received a death threat.

What to say to those who want to leave the church?
If you can stay, stay, if it's a healthy safe place. For some, it's harmful. You have to speak up.
She said that before 2013 there were zero General Conference talks about women and the Priesthood.

She said she sees 7 years as the maximum goal for women getting ordained. She said it's a huge sacrifice, and getting excommunicated was very painful. But that she spoke with integrity and that it's been worth it.

She concluded that people know what happened to her was wrong.

Closing hymn was "Let Us All Press On." The lyrics took on a new meaning for me in this setting.

Closing prayer was offered to "Our Divine Parents."

Then we had pie. 10-point bonus to any fireside that serves pie.

I'd had a couple questions before I came, and as people lined up to talk to her, none of them came to mind. I felt like I'd got my answers and was okay to head home to the kids. I overheard one person talk about resigning from the church to show solidarity. The people there were friendly and happy to be there. Kindred spirits coming together, a safe place to ask questions. Some were non-members, some had left the church, some had one foot out the door, but most were faithful members who just believe the church has a lot of changes it needs to make.

So in conclusion, Ordain Women is an activist group, a group that plans to agitate/protest/question/poke/prod the LDS church for years to come, whether all of their demands/requests/inquiries are met or not. Most of OW's members are LDS members who want to see change. Some view women in the church like battered-wife syndrome. The abusive, controlling men and the less-than-equal sisters.  They believe in the church, but even if they're excommunicated over it, they plan to weary the Lord with their petitions. It all goes back to Joseph Smith ordaining women. Why did it stop, and will it start up again?

Some other points: when a woman enters sacrament meeting, who is on the stand? Men.
When a woman needs counseling, to whom should she go? A man.
When a woman goes to church court, who are her judges? Men.

I reread her bishop's letter on what it would take for Kelly to be rebaptized in the church. (And to clarify, she wasn't excommunicated for apostasy per se, she was excommunicated "for conduct contrary to the laws and order of the church.")

1. Stop teachings and actions that undermine the Church, its leaders, and the doctrine of the priesthood.
2. Be truthful with others regarding matters involving your priesthood leaders and church discipline.
3. Stop trying to gain a following for herself or her cause and taking actions that could lead others away from the Church.

(Oh, that was a question I had! Why did the bishop have that 2nd item in there? What has she lied about? Shoot. Oh well.)

I Personally Believe in God, Exhibit B

Jacob blessing his 12 sons.

One of the blessings of membership in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the Priesthood, and one of my privileges is to be able to hold that Priesthood. It allows me to give blessings to others, and it's probably something I don't do often enough.

I've had different experiences at different times, but I've always had one stand out in my mind. My sister-in-law Mariah was having a hard time and her husband wasn't available, and so I was able to give it. I put my hands on her head and reached out with my mind in prayer what to say. I don't remember anything I said but I remember feeling the power of the Spirit in my arms. Just my arms. It was a sensation I don't think I've felt before or since. It felt like the Spirit was flowing in my veins. As to what came to mind, I also felt a great spirit coming from Mariah, and I received my own confirmation on what a special person she is and how much Heavenly Father loves her. I could just feel the outpouring of love from heaven to her.

It's one of those moments I can always return to when it comes to feeling God's love and knowing He is real.

Intellectual Trojan Horses

Interesting, long-ish blog post from a self-described "Mormon intellectual" who left the LDS Church but then came back, and he addresses some "Trojan horses" that some people can fall for.

1. Overemphasizing the importance of personal revelation.
2. Overemphasizing the importance of “thus saith the Lord”.
3. Overemphasizing the importance of church history.
4. Overemphasizing the fallibility of prophets.
It will be noted that all of these things which are overemphasized or reinterpreted by the intellectuals are in and of themselves supported by church leaders.   This is exactly what makes them such effective Trojan Horses which provide shelter for intellectual values within the church.  The mistake of the Mormon intellectual will thus lie not in his values per se, but in the way he interprets and prioritizes them.

"To My Sisters"

Posting this one from my friend Holly - "To My Sisters" - because it's very nicely written.

Faith is not just a feeling. Faith is a CHOICE.If there is a silver lining to the turmoil playing out in the public eye, it’s that we – all of us – have an opportunity to revisit our own testimonies of the priesthood and of the role God plays in our lives.
We have a choice to let this strengthen our testimony and our faith. We can choose the paradox of allowing room for both faith AND questions, without letting our questions pull us from the moorings of our faith.
Let me quote the “Silver Fox,” President Dieter F Uchtdorf, from the October 2013 General Conference. In a talk titled “Come, Join With Us”, he pleads with us to “Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith.”

Ordain Women's Kate Kelly Is Excommunicated

Nadine Hansen, Kate Kelly and other from Ordain Women on their way to Temple Square in April 2014. (Credit: SLTrib.com)

Well, I think anyone following the story knew this was going to be how it would turn out.

When Ordain Women protested the October 2013 General Conference, that was one thing. When they did again in April, it was clear they weren't just asking the question. They were demanding change. Elder Dallin H. Oaks gave a very specific talk on Priesthood in April. Seems like an answer to the question, but I know there were many women bothered by it. ("We're an appendage?")

There are basics that the Church should recognize, should re-evalutate. It's the difference between the culture and the doctrine, and I think this is going to keep coming up. For example, how often does Pres. Monson meet with the General Relief Society President?  Don't really know. But we do know that the Relief Society was never consulted when it came to the Sunday School plans to study a prophet each year, nor were they consulted when The Family: A Proclamation to the World came out. (See the Greg Prince interview with Chieko Okazaki).

Now I've never known public shaming get the Church to change its doctrine, or even policy. And when you see how Ordain Women had created their own discussions to try to convert others to their cause, well, what did Kelly think would happen?

But...

When I read the letter from her bishop where they excommunicated her, he makes it clear that he and the stake president had talked to her about OW and tried to dissuade her. But there's some conflict as far as the timeline goes between what Kelly says and what her bishop says. She did say that she told her bishop in December that she was moving in May.

Now when she moved, why didn't he just write a letter expressing his concerns to her new bishop and just wash his hands of it? She wasn't in his congregation anymore. Holding her records and putting her on probation right after she moved reeks of passive-aggressive behavior. Instead of letting her new leader deal with it, he escalated it by holding a court for her now that she was a couple thousand miles away.

I listened to the first 20 minutes of her interview on Feminist Mormon Housewives podcast which she gave a few days ago. She called the bishop's actions cowardly and un-Christlike, among other things. She called it an abusive process. If anyone in the disciplinary council listened to it, that would have sealed her fate. (But why? Egos?)

To give more information on this matter, here's a brief from Nadine Hansen submitted to the stake president and bishop on why Kelly should not be excommunicated. Here's Kelly's own argument. And here is the bishop's full response on Kelly's excommunication and what she'd need to do to return to the Church.

It comes down to access. As someone pointed out to me, how can women ask their questions? It's not like Emma Smith's day where she could just go to Joseph and say "All this tobacco spit is gross in the Church; can you inquire of the Lord what we can do about it?" You can't ask the First Presidency or the Apostles questions. How cool would it be to have Pres. Monson give a General Conference talk where he just answered members' questions? "These are some questions I've been asked, and I inquired of the Lord, and here is what His will is on these matters." Joseph Smith used to do it all the time.

1. Why aren't sections regularly added to the Doctrine & Covenants? Revelations seemed to slow down after Joseph Smith, and all we've had in the past 130 years is Section 138 and Official Declarations 1 & 2. Is there no revelation received by Heber J. Grant or Gordon B. Hinckley or most of the other prophets worthy of being included?
2. How often does Pres. Monson actually meet with Christ?
3. Will we ever get more information on Heavenly Mother? It's a widely accepted concept that seems to have originated from a song lyric by Eliza R. Snow.

Anyway, this is national news. I'm guessing this gets appealed to the First Presidency, one way or the other.

Amasa Lyman - Apostle, and My Great-Great-Great-Grandfather

Yeah, behold, Amasa Lyman and his wife Louisa Tanner (daughter of John Tanner) begat Matilda Lyman. And Matilda did wax strong, and she and her husband Isaac Carter begat Minnie Carter. And Minnie did marry George Albert English, and they begat Robert William English, who begat Robert Francis English, who begat me.

Amasa Lyman (1813-1877) was barely 19 when he was baptized into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, after meeting two LDS missionaries in Orson Pratt and Lyman Johnson. Three months later, he was able to meet Joseph Smith, and a month later he was called on his own mission.

He served several mission, and he was in Missouri in 1838 when The Battle of Crooked River broke out, where three Mormons and one militia man were killed. Gideon Carter was one of the three killed, another one of my great-great-great-grandfathers (father of Isaac). Lyman fought in the battle but was unharmed. Tensions skyrocketed in Missouri, and shortly after that, Gov. Lilburn Boggs signed the "Extermination Order," essentially making it legal to murder Mormons within Missouri borders.

Lyman was called to be an Apostle by Joseph Smith in 1842, and he was second counselor in the First Presidency when Smith was killed. Lyman was dropped from the Quorum due to an excess number of Apostles when Orson Pratt, who'd been excommunicated, was rebaptized and reinstated as an Apostle. Lyman soon again became part of the Quorum under Brigham Young.

Smith taught Amasa about polygamy just a few months before his death. Amasa took a total of eight wives over his life, and had 38 children from seven of them. One of them - Eliza Partridge - was one of Smith's widows. In fact, three of Amasa's wives were Partridge sisters.

Lyman was excommunicated in 1870 for apostasy, and he never joined the Church. He died at age 63 in 1877. In 1909, President Joseph F. Smith posthumously reinstated Lyman as a member and as an Apostle. At the time, Amasa's son Francis was an Apostle.

More Threats of Excommunication

Kate Kelly (Photo: Mormonstories.org)

What's the over-under on there being a picket protest outside of Kate Kelly's stake president's office on the day of her church trial? I've heard candlelight vigils are planned, but as for the actual location where it's happening...?

Anyway, a few more LDS members are finding themselves facing church discipline and letting the world know about it, according to the New York Times. Joanna Brooks calls this the real Mormon Moment.

It is Friday and we hear nothing from our religious leaders in Salt Lake City. We hear only from the Public Relations department, which seems to be doing the best it can to get grips on a situation that has outgrown its control, a situation that makes Mormons appear once again in the public eye as the insular, suspicious, dogmatic, simple-minded, intolerant, and spiritually violent Mormon caricatures that once populated nineteenth-century magazines.

Bloggernacle: LDS Women, Culture & Doctrine

The Bloggernacle's really been blowing up lately, and I think that's a good thing. Let me address a few interesting posts that I've seen.

"How the Mormons Conquered America"

(We did?) Non-member Michael Fitzgerald takes a look at the culture of the LDS church and how that has allowed it to grow, adapt and thrive. One interesting stat he points out: By 2080, it's estimated there'll be 265 million members around the world. (Currently it's 15 million.) On the Church's reaction to social pressure.

Social pressure will not change the church. Outsiders and dissenting Mormons can feel anger about the church’s practices, but there’s little point to organizing protests. The President of the Church, in accord with the two other members of the office of the First Presidency and the 12-man Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, changes doctrine. Flake says this creates incredible stability and immunity from outside influences or charismatic mavericks. The Mormons “pay a price for it but they also get a benefit for it,” says Flake. “The price and the benefit look remarkably alike. You constrain or stabilize the system. It also makes them a very structurally conservative institution. They have to move by agreement.”

Next comes a Washington Post editorial from OrdainWomen's Lorie Stromberg, provocatively titled "Why Are Mormons Leaders So Afraid of Dissent?" She addresses recent talks of openness and questioning and how that contrasts with the recent excommunication threats of Kate Kelly and John Dehlin.

If its doctrine appears so hospitable to change, why does the church often seem hostile to it? Part of it is the problem of maintaining the integrity of the prophetic voice. If what a past LDS Church leader said can be overturned by subsequent leaders, as has happened numerous  times, Mormonism must grapple with the tension between continuity and its relevance for  today’s members.  Between responding to attitudes that could mean greater inclusiveness—particularly for women and LGBT members—and the appearance of bending to social pressure.

I don't know much about John Dehlin, but I feel like I can't go two days without hearing about Kelly, and I think that's part of her problem.  The Church likes to handle things privately, discreetly, and she's appearing in the media at every opportunity to plead her case to the public. Public shaming and public demanding isn't going to change leaderships' minds. On the other hand, when I hear her side about why she's come up for a church court, it sounds like she's fallen victim to leadership roulette. What might have been okay with your old bishop doesn't fly with your new bishop.

Next, I will link to V.H. Cassler's "Ruby Slippers on Her Feet: Reflections on the OrdainWomen Website." It's the lengthiest one I'm linking to but it's worth the full read (all of these are). Nevetheless, it's the internet, so here's some highlights.

There is much to admire about this effort.  One only has to read the profiles to feel there is much good-heartedness there, and much reflection.  Clearly evident is a sincere desire to improve gender relations in the Church to more closely match a more heavenly ideal, and to offer balm to souls wounded by the current state of those relations within our faith community and within the broader society.
            However, I must also confess to a strong reaction, which has no label in our language, but feels like the urge to laugh and to cry at the same time.  As a feminist, the idea that men would ever have the right or ability to give women divine power strikes me as deeply anti-feminist.  Are we saying that only with the permission of men and by the hand of men can women partake of divine power?  And that since male permission has not been forthcoming to this point, women in fact possess no divine power at present?  That we women are reduced to pleading with men to give us our power?  A laugh wells up in me at the sheer irony of this “feminist” position, but at the very same moment, I also feel to weep bitter tears in the realization that only a profoundly toxic culture for women could produce a situation where good-hearted women and men advocate an anti-feminist position as a step forward for women.

On women's Divine power:

One of the enduring anxieties we face as human beings is the meaning of sexual differentiation.  Why are there “two,” when “one” seems so much more simple, united, whole, and coherent?  What good can there be in “two-ness”?  After many years of reflection on this topic, my opinion is that “two” opens the possibility of love, whereas “one” closes in on only one possibility, self-love.  Though God calls us to be of one heart and one mind, we can only call satanic the will to have all beings be the same as we are--a state rightly called misery.  Somehow love, difference, and equality in the context of that difference are all integrally bound together.  And only love can bring forth new life; self-love is always sterile...

 But rather than allow our culture to remake our doctrine, might we rather allow our doctrine to remake our culture?  Our faith community has an absolutely revolutionary conception of male-female relations.  The LDS Church preaches that there is a Mother in Heaven, co-equal with our Father in Heaven, and that godhood cannot exist without an equal partnership between men and women.  It preaches that Eve did not sin in the Garden of Eden, but was foreordained to partake first of the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, and rewarded for so doing.  The LDS Church preaches that women are to have equal counsel (“voice”) and equal consent (“vote”) with men in councils from the family to the nation and beyond, for men and women were meant to rule “with” each other according to our doctrine.  The LDS Church preaches that the government of heaven is family governance, ruled by a Mother and a Father in equal partnership, and that we should emulate that pattern in our own families here on earth.  The LDS Church preaches that in addition to all the overlapping roles that men and women share, that they also play distinctive, sequenced roles in the Great Plan of Happiness, with the mutual dependence thereby created undergirding the possibilities of love and life in this world and in the world to come.  The Two Trees in the Garden of Eden symbolize two doorways, one whose ordinances are presided over by the daughters of God and one whose ordinances are presided over by the sons of God, and that men and women are to hearken to each other as we pass through the doorways in sequence.  The divine power of women is no less than the divine power of men.  This is the most radical vision of equality and peace between men and women preached by any religion in the world, in my opinion.  This doctrine, restored in these latter days, has the power to neutralize the toxicity of our culture—if we let it.  Our doctrine calls us to nothing less than a completely new way of life as men and women. 

On forward movement by the Church:

Some have suggested that men’s presiding in the Church means that men preside over women in general, and women are subordinate to men not only in the Church, but in families and communities as well.  In that view, the only way to rectify that circumstance would be to obtain for women the power that men hold in their apprenticeship to the Father—that is, women would have to be ordained to the Aaronic and Melchizedek priesthoods.  This appears to be the conclusion reached by ordainwomen.org.
            In my opinion, this is a distorted view for two reasons.  First, the Church as an organization in the Kingdom of God is but an auxiliary to a far more important organization—the family.  The Church is not above the family—rather, the family is above the Church in importance to God.  And second, in this highest organization of the family, we have been told repeatedly that men and women are to be absolutely equal and sincerely loving partners.  The man does not preside over the marriage.   Both the husband and the wife are in charge of the marriage; they are co-presidents of the family, moving forward only by unanimous consent...  

            In the family, the divine powers of the apprentices to the Father and the apprentices to the Mother have their fullest flowering because they ideally work in perfect tandem, literally hand in hand.  It is when we speak of the situation outside of the family that confusion sets in. More specifically, confusion sets in when we ask what is the role of women in the Church, which is the gift of the sons of God to the family?  What is the role of women in their communities and their nations, which are still predominantly run by men?
            The operative principle that can be applied to these situations is that women and men should have equal voice in all the councils of humanity.   Men should not hold a privileged position in shaping the world in which women and their children and loved ones must live.  This principle of equal voice must extend beyond the family: women should be equally represented in the leadership of towns, cities, nations, and the world.  The world will never find sustainable solutions to its problems without the input of women, who weave the threads of life.  Entire books have been written on this subject, and UN Security Council resolutions passed, such as UNSC 1325.
            In the Church, priesthood holders must also ensure that women are given equal voice.  The Church will never reach its full potential without the perspective and participation of women.  New programs and policies should not be undertaken without input from women, who will see consequences unforeseen by men.  Indeed, many things benefit from women's insights--for example, buildings should not be designed without input from women who have somewhat differing perspectives on physical accommodation.  Women should have a standing invitation to make recommendations to ecclesiastical leadership at both local and general levels for new programs and initiatives and adjustments to those already in place.  The Church cannot serve its members as well as it should without understanding those members through the eyes of the Specific Authorities as well as through the eyes of the General Authorities; the eyes of the Mothers as well as the eyes of the Fathers.  From recent news articles, it appears this is in fact happening at the highest levels of Church leadership; we hope it is also happening at the local level, as well.  

 And then she says it's not up to men; it's up to women

           In the end, if our paradigm is that we women are so powerless that we feel we can only gain divine power through the permission of men, we’re not ready for power.  It’s as simple as that.  The Brethren can take many important steps to pull the weeds of false and misogynist tradition and institute positive change for women.  But it’s not enough.  As Glinda, a Heavenly Mother archetype, put it, we women only have the power if we truly believe we do.  No man, not even the Prophet himself, can give us that belief.  The real Rubicon for women to cross lies within our own hearts.
            And there’s the rub.  Not only LDS cultural traditions, but also worldly cultures scream at us that women are not powerful at all.  That good women are to fade into the wallpaper, and to be neither seen nor heard.  That women will never really be the equals of men.  That women should defer judgment to men, scholarship to men, leadership to men, initiative to men, dreams to men.  That we women are but guests in our own world, and we must obey the true owners of the world, and tiptoe around them, and first and foremost please them on whom our lives depend.  No wonder that the best (!) we can currently imagine is that men will deign to share some of what they have with us . . . we are almost literally marinating in a globalized cultural misogyny and can see no other way.  This cultural misogyny has also affected LDS culture, especially in the Mountain West.  The stories some of my female students at BYU would tell me nearly broke my heart.  I have wept to see them struggle heroically against invisible cords that are certainly not of the Lord’s making.
            It is high time for a change of heart among women. We must start believing that women possess a divine power and authority that does not originate with men, though it is foundational to our partnership with men.  We must not only say we are equals, we must walk and talk as if we truly are.

Lastly comes this blog post from Ginger: "Mormonism, Feminism and Being Snarky" You can tell by the title she's taking a more, shall we say, playful approach to the matter.

There is a movement that has raised itself in direct opposition to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints that accuses God of being oppressive to women. Yep, I mean LDS women trying to leverage the church into ordaining them. Some of you may cringe over the way I've phrased this, but can we be real for a few minutes? Can a group of people who admittedly oppose the doctrine, to the point of launching a media campaign, really consider themselves as being 'within' the church? And as mormons, we truly believe that the church is operated by Christ himself, in a person-to-person link with latter day prophets. So yes, opposition to doctrine is opposition to God, according to our own beliefs. There is no vote.
But equality is an important issue just in general these days, so why shouldn't it come up at church as well as everywhere else? And yes, we need to discuss it. Especially when so many women are torn between what their faith tells them and what they hear on the 6:00 news or read on sister so and so's blog.

On male and female differences:

I love being a woman. I love what makes me inheritantly female. And I refuse to believe that I am the same as a man. I know we have many similarities, being of the same species and all, but men and woman have many differences; beautiful differences; equalizing differences. And I find incredible value in that. I have never in my life been so offended, in the true sense of the word, than when I had other women trying to sell me the idea that my value as a person lies in how closely I resemble a man. What the hell is that?
It's 2014 ladies, and men are not telling us that the roles of wife, mom, teacher, and caregiver are submissive and demeaning. They are not telling us that they are better or more powerful or more righteous because they hold God's priesthood. It's other women telling us so. It's other women telling us what to think. It's other women belittling the roles that make us different from men - and even belittling our men. And it's other women who are scrutinizing and patronizing. How dare they?..

 The most perfect and yet challenging relationship in all creation is man + woman, whether as family, friends, or companions - how they compliment each other and teach each other and drive each other bananas. I believe it's God's design that we do so. But in the western world, women do everything - and by that I mean we take on a man's roles as well as our own and men are more than happy to let us. There is no true partnership when a woman thinks she can do it all and do it better. Golly ladies, there's a purpose to this life and we need to let the men have their mortal schooling too!

On the Priesthood not being a status symbol:

Activist, Kate Kelly said that equality in the church can be measured.
Does she mean measured in righteousness, commitment, value, importance? Are we supposed to measure what we give and how much we receive? Personal intent and spiritual progression aren't really things we can weigh against the next person. Although, if you compare a lifetime of service in the church, in time and resources and sacrifices, men are not even on the same plane as women. So it can't be more opportunity to serve that these women want. Is it just power at the heart of this issue? Is it really just 'middle management' that these few women are after? Is it about titles? There are no little brass nameplates in the Kingdom of God.
Or is it the power to perform ordinances and miracles that they want? Because I'm pretty sure the priesthood is powered by faith and humility...and trust...accepting God's will...stuff like that...
Anyway, can you even imagine if we did hold the priesthood? Ladies, we'd be doing everything!!! Every. Thing. Just imagine Sunday morning, sisters and how your list of things to do would double...even triple. Because we'd take over. You know we would. And the ward would be run smoothly. Not equally, but smoothly. And God's plan for our progression would be thwarted, because if this was something we needed to be doing right now, we'd already be doing it. Perhaps it's in our future, perhaps not, but it's not in our present and thank...well, thank God for that!

Lastly, I leave you with this 1995 talk by Elder Richard G. Scott - "Trust in the Lord." It's particularly poignant because it's the first general Conference talk he gave after his beloved wife Jeanine had passed away.

When you face adversity, you can be led to ask many questions. Some serve a useful purpose; others do not. To ask, Why does this have to happen to me? Why do I have to suffer this, now? What have I done to cause this? will lead you into blind alleys. It really does no good to ask questions that reflect opposition to the will of God. Rather ask, What am I to do? What am I to learn from this experience? What am I to change? Whom am I to help? How can I remember my many blessings in times of trial? Willing sacrifice of deeply held personal desires in favor of the will of God is very hard to do. Yet, when you pray with real conviction, “Please let me know Thy will” and “May Thy will be done,” you are in the strongest position to receive the maximum help from your loving Father.

Excommunication - Not a fan

The big news this month is Kate Kelly of OrdainWomen.org and John Dehlin of StayLDS.com facing possible excommunication. The spectre of the 1993's 'September Six" has been raised.

Personally I don't like excommunication. If a person has faith and falls short, this is a step that just shouldn't be taken. Since the inception of the Church, there've been problems with apostasy and falling away and excommunications. It's one of those disciplinary steps that feels steeped in 19th century tradition but is more out of place in a 21st century world.

God never changes, but His children do. That doesn't mean He changes His doctrine with every generation, but when His children ask, He listens. When the children of Israel were wandering the desert and got tired of eating manna, they asked for something else. So God sent quail. Does that mean He changed His doctrine? Yea, behold His doctrine was manna, but then suddenly it was changed to quail. Church isn't true. (crumples up temple recommend)

Spencer W. Kimball

There was great petitioning and questioning when it came to blacks and the Priesthood before the 1978 revelation. Not only did the Church need to be ready for it, but the Brethren through whom the revelation could come. There was even a member excommunicated in 1977 for standing up in General Conference and refusing to sustain the First Presidency over the matter. I've always held it a personal theory that one reason President Harold B. Lee died at the relatively young age of 74 was because he was not ready. But Spencer W. Kimball was.

(UPDATE: This is not me automatically assuming that people questioning the Church now over this or that will be vindicated. I use it as an example of the members desiring a change, petitioning for change, and that change coming via answers to prayers. As for the man who was ex'd over it, I just looked him up and I see he's quite the anti-Mormon now, so never mind on that one.)

Now as far as women in the Church, there are many improvements that can be made. I don't agree with the OrdainWomen movement not because I perceive insincere soul-searching happening there, but if the Church is true, then the Prophet is the one who receives the revelation for the Church, and OW's mission statement says: "Ordain Women believes women must be ordained in order for our faith to reflect the equity and expansiveness of these teachings." This doesn't sound like a petition of the Church; this sounds like a demand. I heard it somewhere else first, but God does not force blessings on His children when the vast majority do not want them. Pres. Hinckley left the door open for women getting the Priesthood if a revelation came, but with over 80% of men and women in the Church not wanting that change, that's all you need to know.

But speaking more broadly, where can a faithful Church member go who has questions? There are many questions raised that don't have answers.

I refer to some General Conference talks that have helped of late on this matter.  Elder Oaks' 2010 talk on two lines of communication was one. Another was an answer to one of my own questions that some friends helped me find. It's a 1971 talk from young Apostle, Elder Boyd K. Packer.

As for dealing with individuals, I loved this Bishop's Response from ByCommonConsent, maybe my favorite LDS blog out there.

As for those who say, "If you don't like it, leave." I say no, please stay. The Church is undergoing tumultuous times, and there will be more to come. In fact, I'd repeat Pres. Uchtdorf's plea to "Come, Join With Us."

One might ask, “If the gospel is so wonderful, why would anyone leave?”

Sometimes we assume it is because they have been offended or lazy or sinful. Actually, it is not that simple. In fact, there is not just one reason that applies to the variety of situations.

Some of our dear members struggle for years with the question whether they should separate themselves from the Church.

In this Church that honors personal agency so strongly, that was restored by a young man who asked questions and sought answers, we respect those who honestly search for truth. It may break our hearts when their journey takes them away from the Church we love and the truth we have found, but we honor their right to worship Almighty God according to the dictates of their own conscience, just as we claim that privilege for ourselves.⁵

Unanswered Questions

Some struggle with unanswered questions about things that have been done or said in the past. We openly acknowledge that in nearly 200 years of Church history—along with an uninterrupted line of inspired, honorable, and divine events—there have been some things said and done that could cause people to question.

Sometimes questions arise because we simply don’t have all the information and we just need a bit more patience. When the entire truth is eventually known, things that didn’t make sense to us before will be resolved to our satisfaction.

Sometimes there is a difference of opinion as to what the “facts” really mean. A question that creates doubt in some can, after careful investigation, build faith in others.

Mistakes of Imperfect People

And, to be perfectly frank, there have been times when members or leaders in the Church have simply made mistakes. There may have been things said or done that were not in harmony with our values, principles, or doctrine.

I suppose the Church would be perfect only if it were run by perfect beings. God is perfect, and His doctrine is pure. But He works through us—His imperfect children—and imperfect people make mistakes.

In the title page of the Book of Mormon we read, “And now, if there are faults they are the mistakes of men; wherefore, condemn not the things of God, that ye may be found spotless at the judgment-seat of Christ.”⁶

This is the way it has always been and will be until the perfect day when Christ Himself reigns personally upon the earth.

It is unfortunate that some have stumbled because of mistakes made by men. But in spite of this, the eternal truth of the restored gospel found in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is not tarnished, diminished, or destroyed.

As an Apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ and as one who has seen firsthand the councils and workings of this Church, I bear solemn witness that no decision of significance affecting this Church or its members is ever made without earnestly seeking the inspiration, guidance, and approbation of our Eternal Father. This is the Church of Jesus Christ. God will not allow His Church to drift from its appointed course or fail to fulfill its divine destiny.

There Is Room for You

To those who have separated themselves from the Church, I say, my dear friends, there is yet a place for you here.

Come and add your talents, gifts, and energies to ours. We will all become better as a result.